For this series of writings, I asked people online to send me a question for the tarot and then choose a number from 0 to 21.

QUESTION

“Why can’t I find more hours in a day?”

CARD CHOSEN

19: The Sun

ADDITIONAL CARD DRAWN BY ME TO DISCERN WHAT IS UNDER THE SURFACE OF THE QUESTION

17: The Star

RESPONSE

I am not initially sure how card 19: The Sun relates to your question, so I’ll start writing spontaneously about the card and we’ll see what comes.

There’s two children at the base of the card. The one on the left is timidly walking in the direction of inspiration, he’s moving toward the avenues of life that light him up and nourish him. He knows he wants to go that way and sip on that light, but he’s hesitant. There is some caution in his eyes.

Why? Why does he fear the light? Why does he hesitate to do the things that fill his heart? [These are questions that you, the querant, can ask yourself in thought or in writing if you feel so inclined. Take a moment with them.]

In this moment, it looks like the sun above is assuming the role of a stern authority figure. The precocious boy hesitates to acknowledge and follow his own inner sense of authority because the oppressive sun is imposing its authority upon the poor lad.

On the right, there is another boy, an emissary visiting from that aforementioned paradigm in which folks are allowing them to do the things that light up their souls, rather than following the voice of “should” and “should not”. This emissarial visitor comes from a place whose inhabitants are relieved of the pressure to “be a good boy/girl”. They are relieved of this pressure because they are in touch with their own intrinsic goodness, their heart, their light. They tend to that force within themselves and it naturally ripples out into their lives and relations. This friendly ambassador understands the fear of the hesitant traveler. He understands the fear, yet he also knows the sheer joy of immersing oneself in those pursuits that create true joy.

In addition to the card you chose, I drew another card to contemplate what might be beneath the surface of your question. The card I randomly drew was 17: The Star.

What might this suggest? To me, it is an encouragement to remember that you are a star. I have to admit that it feels so cliche to say this. But why? Why does part of me cringe with corny-ness to say that I am a star, that you are a star, and that everyone is a star? Possibly because culture seems to teach us all to devalue our own light. This diminishes our faith in ourselves and leads us to unconsciously follow the perceived light of others’ expectations rather than honoring and feeding our own.

The woman in the star card is tending to herself, and doing that which feels most natural and integral to her being. Because of this, she also has more to give to those around her. She’s nourished herself so she has more energy to share with others.

Back to your question. You asked, “Why can’t I find more hours in a day?”

Of course, there’s only 24 hours in a day. We can’t get more than that. Unless you have some quantum secrets of time-space manipulation that I’m not aware of. In which case, please share them with me.

We can’t get more than 24, but we can reexamine what we are doing with those hours. Am I using any of my time to do things that I don’t have any real desire to do? Spending them to fulfill obligations that I feel I can’t escape? Why do I think I have to do these things? Is there any way I could lessen the time and energy I put into them? Is there any way I can gradually withdraw my time and energy from those tasks and trickle it into those pursuits that light me up? [More questions you, the reader, can munch on yourself, if you like.]

Doing things we don’t want to do does seem to be a part of life. And maybe some of those unwanted tasks provide some benefit (i.e. working to put food on the table, being happy because something we do gives happiness to someone we love, wisdom gained from obstacles, etc.). But maybe we can balance those tasks by reassessing how we decide to use our time and guessing what might be unconsciously motivating those decisions?

On my blog, you can find more writings on art and alchemical thinking, interviews about creativity, psychologically-oriented reflections on tarot, and more. You can check out past posts in the categorized list below.

subscribe via rss

Art
- Jul 2, 2018 About the Folks Who Think You Stink (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Jun 22, 2018 The Freedom and Fear of Being Yourself (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Apr 3, 2018 Public Alchemy: Notes on Street Performance
- Dec 1, 2017 Why the Tutu?
- Sep 14, 2017 Art is a Portal
- Aug 17, 2017 Put the Potatoes on Your Face
- Dec 28, 2016 How to Make Magical Oranges
- Dec 19, 2016 Wakey Wakey, Inner Kiddo
Interviews
- Jul 18, 2018 Artist Interview: Kayle Karbowski
- Jun 4, 2018 Artist Interview: Sally Nicholson
- Apr 23, 2018 Interview: Yogi Ron Katwijk
- Mar 1, 2018 Artist Interview: Lawrence Blackman
- Feb 21, 2018 Artist Interview: Samantha Blumenfeld
Magical Thinking
- Jun 21, 2023 Magick for Reshaping Life and Transmuting Trauma
- May 18, 2023 Magick is a Sentient Entity: Using the Imagination to Co-Create with Magick
- Dec 4, 2020 The Healing Voice: Wounds, Addiction, and Purgation
- Aug 5, 2019 Celebrating Your Misery
- Jun 21, 2019 White Peacocks, Constipation, and Emotional Liberation
- Aug 23, 2018 Melting a Snowball of Misery
- Jul 2, 2018 About the Folks Who Think You Stink (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Jun 22, 2018 The Freedom and Fear of Being Yourself (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Apr 16, 2018 Questions for Limitations
- Apr 3, 2018 Public Alchemy: Notes on Street Performance
- Jan 5, 2018 Chaos' Playground: Finding Gold in the Shitstorm
- Dec 1, 2017 Why the Tutu?
- Sep 14, 2017 Art is a Portal
- Aug 7, 2017 Three Reasons to Destroy Yourself (Or Not)
- Jul 6, 2017 Nerves and Tutus
- Feb 19, 2017 Why Does Heartache Happen?
- Jan 15, 2017 Following Fear
- Dec 28, 2016 How to Make Magical Oranges
Tarot
- Oct 24, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #5: Why does my skin crawl with wonder and fascination as such important relationships in my life are connected by the eyes?
- Oct 11, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #4: How long will it be until I have a new job?
- Sep 25, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #3: Why can't I find more hours in a day?
- Sep 3, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #2: Do abusers know they're being abusive, or is that just their sense of reality?
- Aug 25, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #1: Why is the Present Moment So Much All the Time?
- Aug 18, 2019 Today's Tarot: Shifting Pain by Surrendering to It
- Aug 13, 2019 Today's Tarot: The Golden Devils Inside You
- Aug 12, 2019 Today's Tarot: The Moon of Self-Loathing
- Jun 27, 2019 Today's Tarot: Snot, Beauty, and Tea for Pain
- Feb 28, 2018 Today's Tarot: The World is in the Seed
- Aug 26, 2017 Tarot as a Tool for Reality Construction

For this series of writings, I asked people online to send me a question for the tarot and then choose a number from 0 to 21.

Question

Why is the present moment so much all the time?

Card chosen

5: The Pope

Response

For your question, you chose card #5, which is The Pope. I’m going to put the religious associations aside for the moment in order to relate The Pope to your question. I’m also going to imagine that, today, the pope is in your shoes.

So let’s say the Pope is feeling overwhelmed. He’s open, aware, and sensitive. His sensitivity is an asset with a lot of potential, but it can also be a challenge to manage and coexist with. Like a horse with a lot of wild energy. It can be powerful if we learn how to ride it and gently steer it without getting tossed off at every turn.

The Pope has these two little donut-heads poking and patting on his legs and knees. They are parts of himself, aspects of his inner world, his thoughts, emotions, desires, his sexuality, and his deep-seated beliefs about himself and the world. They are intentionally causing him the sense of overwhelm by which he’s been consumed lately.

WHY?!

Why would they cause him so much duress?

It may initially seem like they’re cruelly torturing him, but they are actually trying to help him.

How could giving him all of this stress and misery be helpful?

It’s helpful because there is some unmet need festering within him. Some malnourished part of his being is asking to be fed. The donut-heads have amplified the emotions of this internal need in order get the Pope’s attention. If a baby is politely, quietly whimpering in order to ask for food, and its request isn’t being heard, it’s likely to amp up the signal and start making some real noise until some food is put in its mouth.

What is the Pope’s unmet need? What can he give himself in order to receive nourishment and support? [These are questions you, the reader, could ask yourself if you feel so inclined.]

Card 5: The Pope and and Card 13 (The Nameless Card). — Card *5: The Pope* and and *Card 13* (The Nameless Card).

To represent that need, I drew a random card and placed it below The Pope. That card is major arcana XIII: The Nameless Card. This card is often called Death in other tarot decks, but I think the absence of its moniker is important. I’ll get to that in a moment.

What does card XIII have to say about the Pope’s ummet need?

XIII is attempting to tell the Pope that there is a big change he needs to make. Well, he doesn’t absolutely need to make any change. He’s welcome to do what he wants. But making this change could grant him more freedom and more creative energy.

That change might have something to do with letting go of, or distancing oneself from, something that has been in the Pope’s life, mind, and heart for awhile. It could be something he has been doing that is no longer serving him. It could be a preexisting conception of himself that is restricting him and stifling his growth and creativity. Like an elephant who lives like a mouse because it was falsely told belittle itself. But it’s a fucking elephant! With so much strength! So much power! Such immensity!

Or it could be that the Pope needs to radically shift the direction he has been pursuing. Maybe he’s been pursuing a path because he thought he was supposed to, but after traversing that path for awhile, he’s beginning to realize that it’s not the path he wants to follow anymore. XIII might be urging the Pope to notice what his heart feels drawn toward (even if it doesn’t make sense or seem “realistic”), to recognize the huge value of the heart and its guidance, and notice whether his steps are creating distance from the heart or deepening his connection to it.

Card XIII’s lack of a name is powerful because it means that it can be anything. It reflects our own human capacity to become anything, to change ourselves and our direction. Even if we feel like the way we are is the way we are and it can’t change--it can change!

Card XIII wants to make sure we never forget that we can shift. In this spread, it wants the Pope to turn his attention inward and do some intensive, but benevolent, spring cleaning. To discern what he’s been holding onto inside and start cleaning house. If it feels like he doesn’t know how to let go of it (whatever it is), he can simply try to loosen his grip. Loosen it a little bit here and there. If the attachment is so strong that he can’t even loosen his grip one iota, then it is sufficient to simply observe the attachment. He can ask himself, “Why can’t I Iet go of this? Why does some part of me feel I need to hold onto this, even though I know it’s no longer serving me? Is there a fear related to the change I want to make?”

The Pope doesn’t need to make a huge, overnight change. He need only begin to change and begin to shift his direction. He is at a threshold, standing right at the gate of a new paradigm, a new way of being and living. He can see that new paradigm on the other side of the gate, but if he wants to inhabit that potential world, then he’s got to start making steps toward it. Card XIII suggests that if he does this, there’s huge potential and creative energy waiting for him.

Metaphorically speaking, the Pope is someone who is connected to heaven. However, he’s also a human, so he has probably accumulated some psychological baggage that impairs his awareness of heaven’s existence. When I say heaven, I don’t mean some mythological resort in the sky with pearly gates. By heaven, I mean a state of being in which you can honestly say, “I’m in heaven right now!!” There might be things in our life that help us activate this state (art, lovers, ice cream, sunshine, whatever), but heaven is not inherently in those things. Those forms simply help us access that state within ourselves.

Last thought... Even if the Pope feels like he’s not currently in heaven, even if he feels like he’s in hell, heaven’s seed is right there within him. He need only find out what that seed needs in order to flourish and grow. Learning how to care for that seed can be a nonlinear, messy, lifelong process, but it can also be beautiful, delightfully tear-jerking, and inspiring. It’s a seed well worth watering!

Normally, when I do tarot with other people, the focus is on what YOU see. This is because I believe each person has the intrinsic ability to find the answers to their own questions, if given the time and space to look deeply at their psychological innards. The tarot's images, when spontaneously reflected upon, have a knack for accessing the subconscious mind (where our individual patterns of existence have their roots) and bring its contents out into the open. Through this process, we can come to a better understanding of how our inner world shapes our outer experiences and how we can consciously steer that dynamic, rather than have it be forever dictated by subconscious attachments and habits. If you’re interested in doing a reading with me, either online or in person in Santa Fe, see this page (link) for more info.

subscribe via rss

Art
- Jul 2, 2018 About the Folks Who Think You Stink (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Jun 22, 2018 The Freedom and Fear of Being Yourself (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Apr 3, 2018 Public Alchemy: Notes on Street Performance
- Dec 1, 2017 Why the Tutu?
- Sep 14, 2017 Art is a Portal
- Aug 17, 2017 Put the Potatoes on Your Face
- Dec 28, 2016 How to Make Magical Oranges
- Dec 19, 2016 Wakey Wakey, Inner Kiddo
Interviews
- Jul 18, 2018 Artist Interview: Kayle Karbowski
- Jun 4, 2018 Artist Interview: Sally Nicholson
- Apr 23, 2018 Interview: Yogi Ron Katwijk
- Mar 1, 2018 Artist Interview: Lawrence Blackman
- Feb 21, 2018 Artist Interview: Samantha Blumenfeld
Magical Thinking
- Jun 21, 2023 Magick for Reshaping Life and Transmuting Trauma
- May 18, 2023 Magick is a Sentient Entity: Using the Imagination to Co-Create with Magick
- Dec 4, 2020 The Healing Voice: Wounds, Addiction, and Purgation
- Aug 5, 2019 Celebrating Your Misery
- Jun 21, 2019 White Peacocks, Constipation, and Emotional Liberation
- Aug 23, 2018 Melting a Snowball of Misery
- Jul 2, 2018 About the Folks Who Think You Stink (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Jun 22, 2018 The Freedom and Fear of Being Yourself (Notes on Performance and Life)
- Apr 16, 2018 Questions for Limitations
- Apr 3, 2018 Public Alchemy: Notes on Street Performance
- Jan 5, 2018 Chaos' Playground: Finding Gold in the Shitstorm
- Dec 1, 2017 Why the Tutu?
- Sep 14, 2017 Art is a Portal
- Aug 7, 2017 Three Reasons to Destroy Yourself (Or Not)
- Jul 6, 2017 Nerves and Tutus
- Feb 19, 2017 Why Does Heartache Happen?
- Jan 15, 2017 Following Fear
- Dec 28, 2016 How to Make Magical Oranges
Tarot
- Oct 24, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #5: Why does my skin crawl with wonder and fascination as such important relationships in my life are connected by the eyes?
- Oct 11, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #4: How long will it be until I have a new job?
- Sep 25, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #3: Why can't I find more hours in a day?
- Sep 3, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #2: Do abusers know they're being abusive, or is that just their sense of reality?
- Aug 25, 2019 TAROT QUESTION #1: Why is the Present Moment So Much All the Time?
- Aug 18, 2019 Today's Tarot: Shifting Pain by Surrendering to It
- Aug 13, 2019 Today's Tarot: The Golden Devils Inside You
- Aug 12, 2019 Today's Tarot: The Moon of Self-Loathing
- Jun 27, 2019 Today's Tarot: Snot, Beauty, and Tea for Pain
- Feb 28, 2018 Today's Tarot: The World is in the Seed
- Aug 26, 2017 Tarot as a Tool for Reality Construction